Before you get all ”omg is she taking a break from blogging”, no, no, of course I’m not! I love blogging, and really don’t feel like taking a break from it haha! No, I’m just referring to the fact that I’m on a break from school right now! And man does it feel good! For one entire week I don’t have to feel the pressure of waking up every morning, asking myself ”why do I need to go to school today?” Generally, if that is the feeling you get when going to school, something clearly isn’t that good. I think a lot of people can relate to this statement though. As a senior student who graduates in less than 4 months and before that have major projects that needs to be handed in, preferably yesterday, the pressure is quite intense. And truth to be told, the pressure from school is not the only thing we need to be worried about, because after graduation I’m most likely to be unemployed (or well, I hopefully have a job from May-September, but after that, well, that’s for the future to tell!). And then comes the question ”what do you want to do with your life?” and honestly, I have no idea! Or well, the thing is that I have like A THOUSAND ideas, but erhm, they all pretty much involve marrying Augustus Waters from the Fault in our stars or becoming the next Kim Kardashian sooo, yeah. Might not be that achievable haha! But hey, a girl can dream, can’t she?
But honestly, thinking about the future scares me, and I’m sorry if the thought of it scares you who reads this too, and I therefore triggered something that makes you leave this page right this instant, but whenever I get scared, all I try to do is breathe. Silly, some might think, but trust me, it works. It’s simple and effective. Close your eyes and focus on your breaths for one moment, and just clear your mind of everything. Then, after you feel like you’ve calmed yourself down, do whatever makes you happy now. Not what will make you happy tomorrow, in a week or ten years. But now. For me personally, writing, watching a movie or drawing with a candle lit and a cup of tea by my side is usually one of those little things that makes me happy. I’m a very introverted person, even though I sometimes come out as somewhat of an extrovert, but in the end I need some alone time to make myself feel like me, and just shut everything off (especially my brain, who’s the real bad guy in those moments of fear).
Of course, everyone is their own individual and these methods obviously won’t work for everyone, and this is all from my own experiences, but at least it’s something right?
I noticed that this became a rather deep post, which was not at all what I had in mind when I started writing it haha! (I was originally going to write about what I was going to do during my break, but oh well!). But all in all, what I want to say with this post is not to worry to much about what comes next. I try to live my life with a bit of ”It’ll all work out in the end” attitude, because honestly, it will. It might seem like that class you’re failing or that job interview that went bad might completely ruin your life, but it won’t. As long as you keep your head strong and keep going it won’t. Sure, it might ruin your day, but that’s okay! You don’t have to feel on top all the time (unless you’re in top model I think), and feeling sad is okay. But just keep in mind to not let that sadness bring you down for ever.
As I said before, the future really scares me as well. When I started my education (I go to a music program) I was so certain that music was what I wanted to do with my life, and was for quite a while, but now I know that it’s something I definitely don’t see myself doing. I’ve had quite a few teachers that has been putting my self-esteem down. Not by directly telling to my face that I suck, but just dropping hints. Or it’s my over-thinking mind that puts it like that, but either way I don’t feel the joy from it anymore. Which gives my future an even bigger uncertainty, but in the same time I feel like that’s an opportunity given to me. A whole new plan to be laid in front of me. I still have a lot of time to figure out something to do. My dad often tells me that he’s 47 and still doesn’t know what to do with his life, so I mean, there’s no need to rush anything. If you figure out by the time you’re 70 that you’ve always wanted to be a pilot, then good for you! Nothing can stop you! (Or well, there might be a few laws that controls certain things but in the end, it’s all up to you!)
Okay, I no longer know where I’m going with this post or if it’s been to any help at all, but I just felt like writing my thoughts down a bit (I haven’t even decided whether to post this or not). After all, this is all through personal experiences and might not at all be how you feel about things, but that’s okay, because in the end we’re all human and as long as we only respect each other and mean no harm we’re good :3 If this post hasn’t made you feel any better, then I’m sorry, and here’s a little joke to cheer you up anyway:
How does NASA organize their company parties? They planet.
Hahah, oh well, I should get going now before I get waaaaaay to deep! K. Bye. Remember that I love you! ❤
End of teatime! *Clink Clink*